Convictions and Compassion

"Our culture has accepted two huge lies: The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear them or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate." -Rick Warren (minister and author of The Purpose Driven Life)

There is a well-known blogger I follow somewhat known as Single Dad Laughing. It is written by a man who left the Mormon church (but it is NOT about that fact). He has a LOT of good insights on life, love, and parenting. He's real. And he's entertaining. One blog post entitled "People Watching," juxtaposed positive observations with negative ones, and the last one made me cringe:

MADE ME HAPPY: My brother-in-law announced to the family a very tough decision he had made based on his own beliefs and his own convictions. He received nothing but love and support.
NEEDS IMPROVEMENT: I flirted with a pretty girl. The very first thing she asked me was, “are you a Mormon?” I told her I wasn’t. She said, “sorry then,” and walked away.

It made me think about what we teach our youth. In Young Women's classes, we were taught to only date members of our faith. In fact, we were encouraged to surround ourselves with only those who share our same values and beliefs. I still teach my children to keep the company of honest and true friends while leaving behind those that bring them down or live by a value system directly opposed to what I teach them. But I also teach them over and over again that just because other people don't believe in God or choose to smoke or get tatoos, they are not bad or wrong. They simply do not share our values or think what we believe is true.

It is a difficult concept for young children to understand, especially ones who see only black and white. But it shouldn't be a hard concept to adults. However, I feel it from others who share my faith that they have not internalized what Christ really taught. To be rejected by people who are taught how to be loving and forgiving is the reason I shy away from religious people. How hypocritical I am to distrust them when I myself am religious! But in my experience with my fellow men, Christians seem to be more self-righteous and more judgemental than non-Christians.

Why is it so hard for us as mortals to let others be human? Why do we want everyone to be the same as us? Why do we think they are bad or wrong if they feel differently?

So, going back to the Single Dad Laughing scenerio: I will teach my daughter the same as my mother taught me. I would encourage her to see people for what is in their hearts. Not for their labels, and not even for their beliefs. I would hope that she would accept a date from a non-member as readily as she would a member, by the way they act. The boys at church are not necessarily better than those of other faiths or of no faith; in fact, some of the boys at church preferred the girls who had lower standards. The boys who asked me on dates were almost always non-members who admired me because I was not like the other girls at school.

A few weeks ago, I re-watched "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner." While the girl seemed like a niave airhead, I do hope that my children will learn how to see past differences, whether they are physical or intellectual. That is not to say I want my children to marry someone who has an opposing value system. But I do so hope that they will embrace the person and "allow all men the same privilege, let them worship [or live] how, where, or what they may" as we Mormons profess to believe according to the 11th Article of Faith.