James' Baptism

We agonized over this day for a long time. Initially, James didn't want to be baptized at all. Going to the baptisms of the other kids in his primary class made him want to even less. It was so boring and long. He couldn't focus on a speaker that long, and all the attendees distracted him and some made him laugh. Futhermore, lots of people mean social interactions and expectations.

And he was very dramatic over having to get dunked. Even more upsetting was the idea of getting his face wet. At the pool, he gets out whenever he gets water on his face; in the shower, he gets ridged and wrings his hands when I spray his head and water runs down his face, and he refuses to wash his face. (Yes, I know, I should write a social story with him about that. Just another thing to add to my need-to-do list.)

Besides, does a kid with a disability that prevents him from understanding right and wrong really need to be baptized? How could he be accountable? Would we be baptizing him just because everyone else is doing it and we didn't want him to be left out (of his already excluding class)? Sure, we are to do as Jesus did and be baptized, because, after all, Jesus didn't need to be baptized either. I guess obedience is good enough. But I've got a thing about blind obedience. Of course, what 8 year old can actually grasp what baptism is all about? Sure, James can spout out the answers just like the rest of the primary children. But in my mind, it had less purpose for him than the others. However, I was satisfied when he changed his mind and actually said, yes, he did want to be baptized. Besides, I finally came to the conclusion that even if baptism wasn't necessary for individuals like James (and who am I to judge whether or not he is accountable), baptism IS necessary to receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. And I wouldn't want that denied him. Indeed, the companionship of the Holy Ghost could help him make correct decisions that his own judgment alone could not, not to mention the comfort and other ways the Spirit guides us.

To make things more streamlined, we asked the bishop to NOT announce it in sacrament meeting, we told the Vogler clan we didn't want anyone but immediate family there, and we insisted that all speakers be kept to a minimum and their talks be less than 2 minutes. Usually, there is a talk on baptism and one on the Holy Ghost, but I combined them and made it extremely simple like I would at Family Home Evening. There were a few bumps when the bishop made a joke or James made some comments that didn't fit, but we made it through without any crying or upsetting outbursts. James was very squirrely, but I think we were all okay with his interruptions and not being able to stay in his seat. (I think the lack of audience also helped me not feel embarrassed about his lack of reverence.) I was also glad that those there are used to James and don't take it personally when he says something offensive (like when the primary president presented James with his own poster of My Gospel Standards, and James clapped his hand to his head and exclaimed "Oh Great!" in a sarcastic tone of voice.)

The best part was seeing James come out of the bathroom wearing his white jumpsuit beaming with pride. He was actually excited to be getting baptized. He was not apprehensive at all about going into the water or getting his face wet. In fact, when he was getting out of the font, he said, "That was great! I want to do it again!" Of course Rex baptized him. And then his Grandpa Roberts confirmed and blessed him.

After the confirmation, we were singing the closing hymn, I am a Child of God, and James burst into tears. He could not stop crying and didn't know why. We told him that sometimes, the Holy Ghost can make us feel so happy and so good that we can't help but cry. (He doesn't understand this. To him, tears automatically equal sadness.) I think we were all touched by witnessing James feeling the Spirit. It certainly isn't the first time. I don't think many 8-year-olds are able to receive such witnesses, but James is a special child and is much more in tune with the Spirit than you'd think. He is quite emotional and has a huge heart, so it isn't that surprising to me that the Holy Ghost can touch his spirit with more ease and clarity than most.

(Ironically, James snatched the little toy car on the table there that someone else had left behind. We'd told him it wasn't his and he couldn't have it, but we found him playing with it at home that evening. Rex and I both thought it better not to point out how he had just been baptized and he is accountable for all the choices he makes, etc. etc. We know him well enough to know he'd feel really guilty, beat himself up about it, and not be able to stop crying. This was certainly not the time to rain on such a positive event. So we simply told him that it wasn't his to take. We will make him take it to the lost-and-found on Sunday. We honestly don't think he knew it was wrong, just like so many other things he does impulsively.)