The reasons why I did NOT want to homeschool were 1) my own prejudice that it would inhibit my child's social development 2) money 3) lack of patience 4) lack of confidence at my own ability to stick to the task of homeschooling 5) loss of my own personal time and freedom from children 6) further delay of my college education.
Almost all of these concerns still exist, but the reasons TO homeschool far outweigh the reasons not to:
1) I don't want James going to his assigned school. Zachary Middle School is notorious for bullying. (Before I was even concerned about bullying at school, I had long decided he would never ride the bus because the kids on the street corners were constantly fighting and/or picking on each other while waiting for the bus to arrive, not to mention that all the kids at church who ride buses have said that it is THE place for buying/selling drugs, watching porn on cell-phones, and harassment of all kinds.) The school lies in a neighborhood of 80% rental homes in a graffiti-riddled area; our house lies on the school boundary line at the north side, much too far to walk. I don't particularly care that the campus has poor test scores/ranking. Many girls can manage at that middle school, but I have not heard of a single decent boy that came out of there unscathed; I've dubbed it Bully-Central Middle School. And we all know that James is a bully-magnet. I am not really concerned about the quality of teachers, although I do know that school has a high turnover rate and that the administration and many of the teachers have been forced-transferred, if not forced-resigned. But knowing about the inside drama that goes on, I cannot assume the ousted staff is to blame. It is the students, not the staff, that I'm concerned about. It is the only middle school in the district that converted to school uniforms to decrease violence. (The uniforms consist of black/white/red polo shirts and black/khaki slacks.) I figured that I could just get a parent-choice transfer to one of the two neighboring schools. However, I just received notice that the school for which I requested has denied the transfer due to James' behavior record. I find this incredibly aggravating on the grounds that James is in special ed and has a behavior intervention plan and I have tried to get the school to help him in this regard. While I do not excuse his behavior, I would say that the school is just as much at fault as he is. I could fight their decision based on disability discrimination, or I could apply for another transfer at a different school. But it is not worth it because I had already made my decision to homeschool, and I wouldn't want to force a school to take him when they don't want him. I only applied for a transfer in case I waffled at the last minute or some unforeseen disaster took place and made it impossible for me to homeschool.
2) Bullying (as mentioned in the first reason). I have tried everything I can think of to "bullyproof" James and it isn't working. I've tried many strategies, and he still comes out the loser in every situation. My original philosophy was that he was going to have to face mean people as a kid so that he can handle mean people as an adult since they don't get any better with age. But nothing is working, and at this point, I don't think anything will ever work. I even stopped letting the kids walk home from school. (I figured that Isaac and Megan would be safe walking home once James was no longer in the picture, but after an attempted walking-home-from-school-kidnapping was reported a couple weeks ago in our neighborhood, I have reconsidered even that.)
3) Bully-free zone for recreation. I hate that I can't let my kids play out front. Poor James uses our one-car garage to skateboard/waveboard in, and even that area is restricted by all the things we store in there. The back patio is even smaller so he prefers the garage. But if he is at home when all the neighborhood bully kids are gone, I can let him play in the cul-de-sac. Not only can he skateboard/waveboard and ride his bike without harassment, but there is also an unused basketball hoop a few doors down. Furthermore, I am considering buying myself a bike so we could go bikeriding together. And I want to try to teach him how to play tennis (although I am fully aware that could easily blow up in my face because I know how frustrating that can be).
4) James is bored in school. They have to teach to the lowest common denominator, which bores the kids who are not that low. James has a hard time staying focused as it is, and this boredom causes him to tune out the teacher even more than he normally would. Kids don't like him correcting them and he always has the right answer. He usually does this in a rude manner and is even rude to the teacher. (An Asperger trait I will have more opportunity to work on with him at home.)
5) James listens to me and is obedient. I readily admit I lose my patience with him when I try helping him with homework, and he has had MANY crying breakdowns from homework frustrations. But, he does not tell me "that's not how my teacher does it" or act like I don't know what I'm talking about. He honest-to-goodness tries to do what I tell him and how I tell him. Unlike Megan, he does not give me the teenage attitude. True, that might change. But at this point, he respects Mom and I want to use that to our advantage.
6) I think I can teach English better than they can. I'm actually very excited about this. English is quite difficult for James but I think I would be able to help him better than they could at school.
7) In fact, I think he would excel in all subjects far more with one-on-one attention and do it twice as fast when not tied to a group's timetable. The trick is giving him my undivided attention, because he does struggle with staying focused and he is not self-motivated. I expect it will require all my time to keep him on track. I perceive that most homeschool kids pretty much teach themselves via computer or textbook, but I am almost certain James would not do well with "independent study."
8) There are SO many non-academic things (and some academic things that they don't teach anymore) he needs to learn that I don't have time to teach him after school when the other kids are home: social and self-help skills, home-ec and normal household duties, scouting, spiritual development, penmanship/cursive (including not pressing so hard on his pencil), current events, book reports and research papers, typing, dance/drama/etc, organization (I cannot tell you how angry it makes me that the schools prohibit binders so the kids' only option is to throw loose papers in backpacks or between pages in workbooks). Michaels and other craft stores have demonstrations and workshops for free/low-cost and offer teacher (and even homeschool-teacher) discounts so that, even though I am not crafty, I can provide James with art-education. I will have to spend money, but I think a nearby theater group would be wonderful for him and they offer a homeschool class (during school hours).
9) NO MORE MANDATED TESTING. SO much public school instruction time is wasted by teaching to the test/test-taking strategies/memorizing facts/taking tests to see if they are ready for the tests/taking the actual tests themselves. School is so test driven that they don't get half as much out of school as they could if they'd quit with the test! However, I think I will probably pay to have James take the Stanford Achievement Test (SAT 10) each year (which is the test private schools give their students) for the sole purpose of having the option of integrating him back into public school if/when we choose.
10) Sex ed. Holy cow! I have been reading about the Texas controversy lately. It seems that while Texas teen birth rates are growing, Texas still teaches abstinence only. While I do not have the knowledge to tell my children about all the different contraceptive options that are now available, I certainly want to be the one that teaches him about the birds and the bees. We've already had MANY talks about sex and private matters. And for a kid with Aspergers, it doesn't sink in well; he is too immature to understand most of it, but his developing body and in-your-face times require him to learn this information before he is really ready. It is an ongoing lesson with frank discussions and more teachable moments than I'd like to have. Right now, sex ed is more about avoiding a Mice and Men incident. For an impulsive black and white thinker, he needs everything spelled out and decided well ahead of time.
11) Relationship development. I will have more time with the child that I feel least connected to. We both need this. It is such a challenge to find the time (and desire) to spend time with any of my children one-on-one. James' interests are so far removed from my own and I believe that homeschooling will help me understand him better. Not only will I have more time with him, but James will have more time to be with other kids outside of school. There are lots of homeschooled kids in the neighborhood and at church with whom I would love for him to play, but after school, there isn't enough time for playdates between homework, dinner, and family time. In fact, not only can they have playdates, but many of these homeschool families have collaborated field trips together. How exciting is that!
12) Speech: the school has admitted they cannot help him any further and has dismissed him from speech. He still struggles with spitting out what he wants to say. Although I do not know how I can help him, I have two ideas that may help that would not be available to me if he were in school: 1) drama (as mentioned in #7) and 2) speech therapy outside of school. I have just gotten a referral from his doctor for a speech evaluation (I didn't tell her they dismissed him or cannot help him any further; I just explained that I will be homeschooling so I need to find an outside source for speech therapy). It could be that his impediment is like stuttering or autism -- something that you cannot "cure." But if there is a way to help him, I want to find it.
13) I have a lot of resources to pull from. There are SO many people doing homeschool now that I have my pick of mentors and support groups. There are a myriad of free and fee resources on the internet. Our kids LOVE to go to Lakeshore Learning Center to spend their money. AND I have Rex and his curriculum from which I plan to pull, especially for science. And maybe I was taking math classes at the community college not for my own academic advancement but for preparing to teach it to James.
14...and the list goes on. There are many more favorable reasons for homeschooling James. The ones listed above are the most prominent ones.
So I look forward to this adventure with much excitement and much trepidation.
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