The Youngest

I admit that Isaac has a special place in my heart.  He was the child for whom I cursed God.  I was angry when I was pregnant with him.  As much as Sarah pleaded for a child, I had begged not to have another.  Yet, like her, I laughed, for he was my joy.  After two terribly difficult children, Isaac's smile and pleasant disposition made me happy.  And I thanked the Lord for him.  (Yes, in addition to the fact that I love the name Isaac, that is his namesake.)

In the last couple years, Isaac has become more difficult and more sullen.  While he is often not pleasant to be around, he is still much easier than the other two.  Perhaps it is because I can relate.

Unlike my first child, he never really learned to play by himself.  He constantly wants someone to play with him.  The worst punishment to him is being sent to his room because he hates isolation; he always wants to be with someone.  I remember my mom constantly telling me that she was not my playmate.  And all the years before meeting Rex, I longed for companionship because I hated doing things by myself.

As a child that has older siblings, he is exposed to their education and examples.  Naturally, he is further along academically than either of them at his age; he is bored at school and his teacher has marveled at how advanced he was since the beginning of the school year.  Often, we take this for granted and, since James and Megan enjoy chapter books, Isaac is subjected to much more advanced books at story time before bed.  He is missing out on the enjoyment of picture books and I make sure to read at least one of his books before the chapter book.  Much of the time, he feels babyish because big kids don't read picture books.  But that's not true.  Whether they admit it or not, Megan and especially James love picture books; his siblings are more attentive when there are pictures to hold their interest.  I get after them quite often if they say something is girly or babyish.  Megan has just as much right to enjoy Dora the Explorer and Isaac has just as much right to enjoy Pixar Cars as James has to think Pokemon is cool.  I often remind them of the book A Bad Case of the Stripes.  They should be proud to be themselves and like what they like, even if others don't like the same thing.  I also have to remind Megan and James of their favorite interests and what they were capable of when they were Isaac's age.  It's all about perspective.

He feels embarrassed that he is still in a booster seat.  Megan recently graduated out when she turned 8, but he is stuck in the baby seat for another year and a half.  I don't blame him; I'd feel stupid too.

Because Megan and James are further along in school, they understand more and can do more advanced reading and math.  Isaac feels stupid and inferior because he can't do what they can do.  But I point out to him that he is much further along at his age than they were.  Even if he wasn't, everyone has their own time table, as illustrated in Ruby in Her Own Time.

As I've stated before, I know what it is like to be the youngest.  You feel like you have a lot to live up to.  You feel like you are not as good as they are.  You feel like you are missing out because you are not old enough or big enough to enjoy the same privileges.  And when your turn comes, it's not the big deal it was for the others because someone already made that milestone; it's not new or impressive; you only just now finally caught up with them only to see them still further ahead crossing the next milestone.  No matter what, they will always be one step ahead, older, smarter, more experienced.  It's impossible for a child to comprehend that it all comes out in the wash when you are an adult.  ...as long as you can keep yourself from thinking it is greener on the other side of the fence or that you need to keep up with the Jones'.

Still, my heart goes out to him when he feels embarrassed or ashamed or inadequate.  It's hard being the youngest.  I understand.