"...willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; yea, and mourn with those who mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort...."
I will not post the lamentations I wrote in my journal, but I will say I set myself up for misery. Knowing that if you want something done right (or at all), you must do it youself, I proceeded to do what I do for all holidays and tried to make Mother's Day special. The problem is that it is MY holiday. I felt stupid virtually buying myself my own Mother's Day present. Actually, it is worse than it sounds. But I will spare the details.
When I called Mom to wish her a happy Mother’s Day on Sunday, she told me that Mother’s Day is awful until your kids grow up. You feel like an awful mother and Mother’s Day only serves to confirm that you are awful. Amen to that. It was nice to hear that my Mother's Day was not the only miserable one. I figure every mother hates Mother's Day.
At least I am not one of those mothers who has lost a child or has tried in vain to have a child....
2 comments:
Oh Julie! I wish you had a better Mother's Day... I like that it is on Sunday so I get to relax and just hang out with Jason and for the first year Emily too! My mom has always celebrated Mother's Day for us girls even before we had children, and Jason also made me feel special in years past while we were waiting. I'm glad that I never felt bitterness towards the holiday because we weren't able to conceive, because now it is all the more special. Don't feel silly buying yourself a gift- you deserve it!
Dear Julie, (here I go again.) In my younger days as a mother, my Mothers Days were pretty miserable. I felt VERY guilty about all the things I wasn't doing, plus I was sad because my own mother had died when I was just a young mother, and I felt I NEEDED her because I had never had a Dad. One time I was expressing this and the Stake President commented to me something about how I had missed the point. (I was talking about the guilt trip it always gave me.) He said The talks weren't to make moms feel bad about the job they were doing, but were designed to hopefully stress upon the children that mothers were important and special. I think your mom is partly correct, because after all, as loving as kids can be, they are still quite selfcentered little beings, and just don't think about all the sacrafices the parents are making in their behalf. When they grow up, they finally get the picture. I don't think you should feel badly about having to buy your own gift. Do what is needed in the specific situation. If your hubby is too wrapped up in the awfulness of the school situation, you do what you need to do. I hope you will have much better Mother's Days in the future. I know you are doing a good job because of the blogs I just read about the children and all the things they have learned. I love you, MOM
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