But is it a bad addiction? They say that too much of anything is bad for you. So when Rex got a job closer to home and life went back to normal, I tried weening myself off dancing. I can't kick the habit, but I have whittled it down to one day a week, plus an extra here or there occasionally. And of course, since it is pretty much up to the wife to make all the dating arrangements, Rex gets stuck with taking me out dancing more than any other type of date.
But upon further reflection, I realized that dancing is really the only way I can truly relax. If Texas had the same perfect kind of weather I grew up with, then this sun worshiper could just lay down out back and let the sun do the job. But nowhere can duplicate San Diego weather. So I need a synthetic way to let everything go.
Dance has become that for me. It's a drug that helps me loosen up. Goodness knows I'm much too serious! I need it. Rex sees the difference and knows how happy it makes me, so he gladly sends me off to dance with other men. And when I return to him, he usually reaps the benefits of a relaxed wife.
It still takes a long time to find that sense of peace though. It will often take me about an hour or so of consistent dancing before I am sufficiently at ease. When I finally make it to that confident, comfortable zone, I can slow down and breathe. I let everything go. I don't worry about what I'm doing or what I look like. My mind is empty and I don't think about anything at all. I can just feel. Just be. Of course it helps if I enjoy the music, if I have a good connection with my lead, and if no one has criticized me about my dancing.
And then I have reached my Zen-like state, as Rex calls it. When I'm there, that's when I perform well and it's amazing. I don't know about looking amazing. But I know I feel amazing.
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