Everyone always tells me that James is a sweetheart. I know he is. But today was proof.
I had a full day of hell from Megan. I was so emotionally exhausted from dealing with her and my tolerance level had been maxed out. James was an angel when he came home from school. He did everything I asked, he was super excited to tell me about his Halloween party at school, he was generous to Megan with the candy he brought home, and he was a good sport about having to turn the car around and go home before we even got to the mall playground. (Megan wouldn't stop her fit in the car and even wrenched herself free from her carseat/seatbelt and was standing on her chair so I had to pull onto the shoulder of the freeway to force her back down and rebuckle her up.)
So...Isaac had been in bed about 20 minutes when James rammed into his door in his haste to retrieve his paper airplane. Crying erupted from Isaac's room and I yelled at James. James' face fell. He was SO sorry. A minute later, I summoned James back and told him I was sorry and his eyes welled up with tears. I worried he didn't understand that I was apologizing so I continued to tell him that I knew it was an accident. I told him how proud I was of him and thanked him (for the 10th time that day) for being so good for me. I felt so bad for taking my frustration out on him and asked for a hug. As his tears spilled, so did mine. But mine wouldn't stop, even when I told him to go play.
He came back with Megan and I managed to stop crying when he said "I know how to cheer you up." He pulled out his paper bag puppet he'd made at school that day and did his comedian routine. It's super cheesy and we pretend we're amused. But this time, the thoughtfulness of such an act made me give him a genuine smile.
Then, after a super-abridged storytime, James gave the prayer. He always says the same things every night, and usually really fast and/or irreverently. But tonight, half way through the prayer, he said very sincerely, "help Megan to stop crying all the time and help Mommy be happy." Of course I started crying all over again! But at least, this time, it was from gratitude towards my son, not the conglomeration of anger, frustration, and sadness that it was before.
James may have difficulty with verbal communication, but he's highly empathetic. Like his father, he is all heart.
2 comments:
Wow! What an amazing son you have! That's what I love so much about my nephews- they are so sincere. Even in the middle of wild playtime running around the backyard, Derek came to me where I was turning over dirt for planting and asked if he could help. It only lasted about two minutes, but my heart was still touched.
I love all your updates!
Heidi
JULIE!!
Man, do I sure fully understand what it is like to be a full time mother! Through nanny experience I got all of the important traits and skills of a mother, but now, being married to a man with 2 kids, I really know what you mean! I am sorry that I haven't told you more about what has been going on. Life has been crazy. I have an invitation and wedding pictures to send you. I am sorry I didn't get yours out before. Nick is 12 and is a smart and wonderful boy. I just went to a parent teacher conference where his teacher gave him an envelope with an invitation to the JR. National Young Leaders Conference in D.C. He is so excited and feels so good about himself. He has gone through so much, it is awesome that he has continued to do so well. Kaylee just turned 8 but is on a 4 year old level and is only in a kindergarten level in school, where she is now in second grade. It is due to the ex and what she has done to her and how she treats her. She ignores nick and treats and talks to kaylee like she is a baby. We will very soon be suspending her visitation because of what Kaylee's doctors are saying. She also has stress related seizures because of the mother and the doctors can prove it. It is so scary when she stops breathing. She also physically hurts herself when her mother yells at her. She has ripped off toenails, picked her bellybutton raw, and hits and bites herself. The last 2 weeks she has had no contact with her mother and she has been so wonderful! She is happy, no seizures, no big fits, no hurting herself, she has been so pleasant! The ex is psycho and we really need to get her away from the kids. It helps that Brad (my husband) has full custody. He is a wonderful man and a wonderful father. I am so lucky to have them, but it is so emotionally draining and straining. I love this blog idea! Does it cost anything??? I hope that you are well, I love you much, and miss you just as much!
Amy Hurst (Schrader)
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